Fight Circus 3
You didn't think Fight Pizza'd miss this??? Well, some of it. 📺🤷♀️
After the astonishment and wonder that was Fight Circus the first and the continued merriment of Fight Circus the second, you bet your sweet ass I’m here for number three. (With the obligatory Mr. Bungle song.)
And away we go! The event starts with a recap of the last Fight Circus which culminated in an epic throw down between Combat Sports legend Bob Sapp and Full Metal Dojo impresario Jon Nutt. They will meet again in the night’s main event in a “war for the Dorito-stained soul of Fight Circus.” (This is not actually true, though I thought it was… I’m confused.)
Jon Nutt walks out in ringmaster garb, frolics with a midget Joe Biden and Donald Trump, encourages a fire-breather, and rips a beer bong. No shit.
He then sings the Thai National Anthem, which is always a highlight of these events, but his performance does not quite have the exuberance of FC1 nor the pathos of FC2. Shrugs. This may be some unfortunate foreshadowing.
First up in Dizzy Bat Boxing? The two fighters spin around a baseball bat for 10 seconds before the round starts, but they’re not going fast enough nor spinning enough to really get discombobulated, so it’s pretty much a standard boxing match. The South African fighter Bryson gets dropped to end round one, then the stream gets iffy and I lose some time. It comes back in the second round and another body shots drops the SA fighter. This is honestly tough to watch with the stream quality at this point: shitty and pixelated would be a description. Hopefully it will improve. There have been technical difficulties at every event so far, but they tend to get relatively ironed out over time.
Next up is some leg wrestling, which is a big part of today’s show. I thought this was pretty lame last time and am not super stoked about the profusion, though it gives lots of opportunity for T&A which of course is fine. Case in point the moment I type that they zoom in on the woman’s tits and my stream freezes.
My stream comes back in time to hear Jon Nutt say Bob Sapp is not actually present at the event which is lame, but also possibly untrue. (It was true ☹️.)
The commentator is repeating “Show your tits. Show your tits.”
Jon Nutt leads a chant of “Let’s Go Brandon.”
In a surprise turn of events, the two lighter contenders (less buxom) make it to the finals of the leg wrestling grand prix.
Next up is Human Cockfighting AKA Only-Kicking fighting featuring Rambo Fairtex and Nutt Prasittigatt. This has historically been one of the coolest things in Fight Circus, so hopes are high. It does not disappoint as the two go all out for 3 full rounds. Rambo goes for lots of knees which I didn’t know were legal, but it probably doesn’t matter either way. A close decision goes to Rambo Fairtex by virtue of a strong first round, when Nutt was still figuring shit out.
The Phone Booth fight is two women locked in a literal phone booth for Lethwei. It’s a brutal clinch-fighting affair and looks like we got some head-butts and hair-pulling on top of the knees and elbows. A little uncomfortable to watch!
Next up is Siamese kickboxing….
I lose my stream and the minutes pass and I fear I’m missing out on the fight. It comes back with a minute to go in the first and these guys are mauling each other. It reminds me of that He-Man character whose arms you pull back on a spring.
Team Nutt wins against Team Sapp. I didn’t realize they were sponsors or whatever. I guess this was the fight for supremacy between Nutt and Sapp? I have no idea. It is not clear what the story is there or how this resolves anything. Anyhow, two fairly brutal fights in a row and the creepier commentator is talking about BDSM and ladyboys at Nana Plaza in Bangkok. (It’s a wild place, like a shopping mall filled with go-go girls and ladyboys.)
The discontinuity of Fight Circus continues with the finals of Indian leg wrestling.
The announcer keeps saying, “She’s so pretty. She’s so pretty.”
My feed goes down again with one girl up 2-0 on the other (it’s best out of three) and I don’t care. I look for a picture on Twitter instead.
My stream is officially dead. I tried signing up on CamSoda with a prepaid credit card but it wouldn’t let me, so I guess I’m gonna miss the top two fights on the card which are a legit Lethwei match and 2-on-1 heroes Bank and No Money taking on a real live professional MMA fighter in Will Chope.
I tried another credit card and we’re back, having only missed one fight. What I do for you people. Last time I gave my credit card to a cam site it was legit stolen and used to buy shit in Bratislava or wherever, so it’ll be super annoying if I have to go through that again having already been taught a lesson about it.
Nutt comes out with the golden bong for the main event winner and he apparently is a WFT fan. (Dots not feathers.)
So my memory of Bank and No Money is one of them can kind of actually fight and the other kind of sucks, but usually can distract the opponent while the other wails on him. (I’m not sure who’s who.) Will Chope actually fought in the UFC. This could be ugly, as I predicted some days ago.
Chope beats them both and the Cinderella story comes to an unfortunate end, along with Fight Circus 3.
The least interesting of the three events for me, if I’m being honest. While the stream difficulties did not help, it’s tough to keep up the excitement and novelty each time.
Has Fight Circus runs its course? Fuck no. Do it again next year and actually plan some shit out and let it simmer a bit, while peppering the show with more legitimate fights. Full Metal Dojo has plenty of legit stuff and would be served to have more of that in the Circus events, such as Full Metal Muay Thai on Fite TV shortly/tomorrow/soon/later? I have no idea. You’d think they would have plugged the shit out of that during the event, but instead we got lots of jerkshirt.
Till next time. 🤙🎪🤡