ONE: A New Era Re:play Fight Diary

Chatri's folly & my first live ONE show

As part of our new COVID-19 life, with the absence of live MMA, many of us desperate fans have been hitting the old classics in an effort to scratch the fight itch. Along with Fight Pass and, ahem, other methods, old fights and even full events have (officially) been making the journey to youtube. RIZIN put up a bunch of fights the other day, including Tenshin Nasakawa’s infamous (and rather depressing) demolition at the hands of Floyd Mayweather, Bellator put up an event, etc. Some of us have even been writing of these fights of yore. Now, due to Chatri’s grace, ONE Championship’s maiden voyage to Tokyo, Japan, ONE: A New Era from March of 2019, appears online. This card is notable as it is the ONE debut for both Demetrious Johnson and Eddie Alvarez. It was held in the Ryogoku Kokugikan, the legendary home of sumo in Tokyo and I was in the crowd for this event, “the biggest in history,” albeit in shitty seats squeezed into the corner of the venue.

On the day as I walked up to the front of the venue I recall a couple of the ONE girls dancing in a DJ booth. Though they often look quite scary on TV in a South Korean Plastic Barbie kind of way, I must admit they were more appealing than I had anticipated and I exchanged a modest wave for a choo choo and finger hearts. It was a promising start to the day (and night) of fights.

Gary Tonon just won his fight on my computer screen. Back in time, this was the fight going on when I walked into the arena. I had arrived early enough to see it, but for some dumb reason we had to go through metal detectors, which is unusual for Japan and not something I’ve experienced at RIZIN or Bellator shows in Tokyo. Also the Ryogoku has an insanely complicated seating map and the people ONE hired as ushers had no idea what the hell was going on, so it took a while for me to get seated (in my crappy seat) and involved me slightly embarrassing myself with a Japanese guy I somewhat rudely, and incorrectly, accused of sitting in my spot. After that minor bit of embarrassment, I was settling in as Mei Yamaguchi pulled off a late arm bar finish. I’m realizing now that I get to listen Michael Schiavello’s bullshit which I had missed before; his prescience was a bit haunting just now while discussing the night’s upcoming fights when he said, “Eddie Alvarez better keep his hands up.”

Watching Rodtang Jitmuangnon slug out a split decision for nine minutes. It’s a shame they didn’t include the walkouts in this replay as his are always fun. Also watching Tokyo’s governor in another window tell me to stay calm despite the explosive increase in infections and lack of a any comprehensive government response. Daijoubu, shoganai. (No problem, that’s life!) Maybe the first fight of the flyweight grand prix will cheer me up — this was the tournament designed to introduce Mighty Mouse to the company (spoiler: he wins it). Kairat Akhmetov takes this one, but I think gets injured later so Reece McLaren makes it to the next round. Still not cheerful. Danny Kingdad beats Senzo Ikeda in the next fight. These two winners meet in the next round, then that winner gets beat by DJ. Choo choo finger hearts. Main card up next. Slightly not morbidly depressed.

Now begins “the greatest martial arts card in the history of martial arts” according to Schiavello. Well, okay buddy, it’s a pretty damn good card, but let’s not go crazy. ONE would be a lot better off with like, “Hey, this really awesome card blows whatever fight night bullshit UFC is throwing up this week out of the water.” But instead they go with the insane hyperbole that really turns people off (unless it’s Joe Rogan talking about this week’s GOAT). I do actually remember the UFC ran some lame card the same week and it got a helluva lot more attention than this event did on the podcasts, websites, and what have you. On MMA Hour or MMA Beat or something, Luke Thomas was like, “I’m not going to watch it.” Okay bud. Not all American MMA reporters were quite so proudly ignorant however as I saw the short guy who’s on ESPN now on the train that week. I shouted at him as I stepped off and he looked pretty confused. Sorry dude!

First fight is some legendary figures in the striking world: Andy Souwer vs. Yodsanklai Fairtex. Yod puts him down within 30 seconds. Souwer survives and resorts to a takedown just at the end of the first. (Takedowns are not okay in kickboxing.) I recall it was pretty well thought Yod would fuck Souwer up and that’s indeed what happened.

Now begins the section of the card that appeals to the American fans. There were some dudes sitting relatively near me in the arena who kept trying to get an Eddie! Eddie! chant going, but they were about as successful as Eddie was in this fight. Timothy Nastyukhin beats him comprehensively here and takes little damage while doing so. Pretty sad show for Eddie who didn’t look great in his next ONE fight either, though he beat one of this night’s headliner. (I hope he fights the other, Shinya Aoki, sometime soon.)

Time for DJ in what ended up being his toughest fight of the grand prix. Possibly even tougher than the Cejudo fight that he lost to finish out his UFC run — I just remember Cejudo laying on top of him. Yuya Wakamatsu’s got some hands for a little guy and he connects several times leaving DJ with a mini mouse under his eye. After a tough 6 minutes or so with the game Wakamatsu, DJ takes over and eventually gets the submission. At this point, most American fans could have been expected to tune out, but we still have a way to go. The Japanese fans especially were much more interested in the main event.

I recall the next fight was a weird DQ or NC or something, but it doesn’t change that fact that Kevin Belingon has the most amazing rattail. Pretty wild until the weird end in any case. Next is Aung La N Sang who is a guy who could do well in the UFC and he’s here in a rematch against Japanese fighter Ken Hasegawa. Apparently the first fight was quite something, but I don’t remember it, if I even saw it. Shots of Vitor Belfort and RDA in the crowd. When is Vitor gonna fight for ONE? Well, when is anyone gonna fight for anybody, but you know what I mean.

Angela Lee up against Xiong Jingnan and it’s super competitive, as was their rematch about six months later, but it’s after 1AM and I’m starting to get tired over and we still got one more fight to go. Okay, cup of coffee, deep breaths. Angela Lee is of course the face of ONE, encourages young girls to grow up to be doctors, and she’s attractive and a good fighter and all that, but I prefer the Panda. Mitch Chilson is saying Xiong Jingnan’s name like he’s ordering at an ethnic restaurant and trying to impress his date with his cool worldliness. Pretty cringey bud. The fight is “like a demented game of Twister,” says Schiavello. Fitting words to lead into the Baka Survivor.

In the main event, Aoki puts Folayang out in two and half minutes and Schiavello shouts, “Put him in the fridge!” Aoki runs out of the cage and sits on the ramp and slowly takes off his gloves before smacking his ass and giving a speech about his shitty marriage in the voice of a 70-year-old chain smoker. The Japanese crowd goes wild. And with that, bedtime.